A Credo to Live By
Barry Kort
Here is a possible credo to live by. I would be interested in having comments about it.
Consider the consequences of living by this credo.
If I can determine (possibly by asking), what another person wants from me, and if I am able to give it to them easily, and if I feel that doing so is mutually beneficial, then I would be highly motivated to follow through.
But if I am uncertain of the mutual benefit, then I might hold back because of the possible harm to one or both of us. But if I do hold back, then I should be willing to offer a reason for not responding as expected. That would give the other person a chance to persuade me to change my mind. If I receive no counter argument, then I must assume they either buy it or want to think a bit about my reasons. If they disagree with my reasons, then I can offer to tell them why I feel those reasons are important. But just enumerating the reasons may be enough to change their mind. If they do challenge my reasons, then I have to compare theirs to mine to see where we differ. After the comparison I can report whether my feelings on the matter have changed, and if not why not. That is, I must point out what I consider to be the overriding factors. At this point it’s possible that one of us could change our minds. If the other person can undermine my position, then I should be glad to discover my error, and reverse myself in their favor. Even if I’m still not convinced, I might go along anyway just to compensate them for their trouble in telling me why they disagreed. Better yet, if they really do convince me, I can easily go along and thank them for making me aware of things I didn’t know. I feel it’s as simple as that.